Have I not called my college coaches to tell them that I fight on?
Have I not gotten in contact with the Coast Guard Report?
Have I not acknowledged those who saw my loss and smiled?
Have I seemed to care not?
Have I seemed to have moved on?
Do I seem no longer passionate about law and politics?
Why do I seem to wish, dream, and pray no more?
Because I am so driven and so focused. So much so that I am upset at myself for taking three minutes to write this. You don’t understand. I see Academy buddies going to the likes of Columbia and Harvard, for graduate school, and only wish for a moment that I remained on the same track that I was before. That’s how far I’ve come. My focus is so great that eating, sleeping, and dreaming are distractions.
I don’t need to dream anymore. I don’t need to wish anymore. I have another shot and I don’t plan on bogeying this putt, this time around. I’ve learned more from a college dropout and a few books than I have in all of my years of learning from the uber-educated New England elite. And I plan on doing something with it.
My case may go to the Supreme Court. Heck, with Ron Machen in the President’s ear, I may be pardoned some day. Who knows? But at this junction, vindication will only be a bonus because the rest of my life is solely up to me and not circumstances. And I don’t care about proving myself worthy of reevaluation, anymore. I don’t dream anymore. I’ve dreamed big before and I lived small. Now, I bridge the gap.
Occasionally, I receive an email or a comment that questions my integrity or my drive. Some people still question my resolve. So, with a video and a couple of paragraphs, I will respond as such:
The most inspirational mash-up that I have seen in a long time. And I believe every word of it. And I will become what I know I am, not because I dream but because I will it so. You don’t see my every day life but just know that while you may remember the worst, I am cracking that ceiling bit by bit, day by day. It is not in me to fail. It is in me to stumble, fall, trip and occasionally break. But I never fail. Failure only occurs when you consider a stumble, fall, trip or breakdown as an indefinite tarnish. I will keep chipping away and chipping away with my able body and stout mind.
“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows…life will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much can you take and keep moving forward?”
I am more motivated than I have ever been. Like my mother once told me, speak it into existence. So here I am. This is what is on my mind and I plan on seeing it through to the very end. Please don’t think that I will ever give up because I never will. I don’t know how to give up.
